30 Days of Gratitude: Friendships Part 1

Last night I had dinner at the home of two friends I have known for half my life.

Dan was my first friend in law school. We both grew up in Wisconsin and had spent the last few years in the DC area before relocating to Minnesota to attend the U of M. However, I had left behind a boyfriend of four years and he had recently married. I soon met his wife Natasha and they became a part of the group of friends to whom I would be closest during my law school stint.

I do not have fond memories of law school. Early on, I was intimidated by the entire experience. I felt inferior to most of my fellow students. When I got solid Cs on all my first semester exams, I truly felt like I did not know how I was supposed to think. I drank too much. I got myself into some situations where I was not proud of my behavior. One involved an interaction with a police officer where, to this day, I cannot believe I was not arrested.

But I digress….throughout law school, Dan and Natasha remained dependable friends….until that time second year when Dan and I made the unfortunate decision to be partners in a moot court project. I think we would agree that there could not possibly be two people more ill-suited for this particular project than the two of us. Without going into details, the horrible culmination (eruption? collapse? meltdown? apocalypse?) occurred when I walked out of their house during the NBA All Star game (which he was watching, much to my extreme irritation) and left him to finish it by himself. My decision to leave startled me and left me feeling quite uncomfortable because by leaving, I was relinquishing control.

Dan finished the project by pulling an all-nighter (something I NEVER did in all my years of education) and I don’t even remember the grade we got. Our fight was the talk of the school.

And then there was reconciliation.

And a year later, there was graduation from law school!

That was 22 years ago. We all remained in Minneapolis after law school. What I cherish about this friendship, is that we have been getting together for dinner (mostly at their house) several times a year for the last 22 years. I can recall the first meal they hosted when we were still in law school. I brought cannoli that were way too sweet. Since then, I have had a front row seat to their three children growing up. I also got to see, first hand, major home remodeling projects. They have always had an assortment of animals, some of whom I have looked in on once and again. I have so enjoyed hearing about Natasha's adventures. The dinner discussions have always been lively and I have gone home feeling loved in that familial way. Their combined powers of persuasion convinced me to join Facebook.

Of all my friendships, this is one of those that means the most to me.

30 Days of Gratitude: Donuts

So I did not realize that yesterday was National Donut Day #2 until I was riding the bus home. I already had donuts on my gratitude list, so today is as good a day as any to honor them. I am also grateful for the following:

1) Internet research that led me to discover that Glam Doll Donuts is designated the best place for donuts in MN;

2) Glam Doll Donuts is on my way to work (if I actually drive my car) and;

3) By designating today as my personal donut gratitude day, I didn't have to fight crowds and could bring a nice selection for my co-workers.

30 Days of Gratitude: Perspective

I have to confess: when I decided to take on this project, I had some doubts about my abilities to come up with 30 different things to be grateful for. So I signed up for a subscription to an email newsletter that would send me a gratitude topic every day. I figured I could benefit from ideas that I had not come up with myself.

This week, I received one that seemed very appropriate: “Struggle.”

Without struggle growth is impossible. The struggles that we face represent a map of how we have persevered and overcome in the face of adversity. Our struggles have propelled us to push harder and find our inner strengths even in our hardest times.

As it turns out, I had already started a post about perspective and I feel like it goes hand in hand with struggles.

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I will be the first to admit that I don’t always have the proper perspective. And several struggles over the past year have challenged me far more than I feel I have ever been challenged in the past.

Often, it is so much easier to be angry. To be sad. To give up and slink home and plop down in front of the TV. To ignore the dogs. To pout. To stomp around. To complain loudly. To eat and drink….maybe too much.

I regret to say, there are times this feels like the only way I know how to respond when things don’t go my way.

But there is such a bigger picture. So many people live with struggles far beyond anything I can even imagine. People living in poverty. People with addictions. People with mental illnesses. People who, from the time they are born, appear not to have even the slightest chance of succeeding. People fleeing their native lands, due to terrorism. People being executed for religious beliefs.

At the end of the day, there are countless people who are faced with having to overcome much more significant struggles than I will ever experience in my lifetime.

Today I am grateful for the perspective that my struggles can bring to me, if I am open to allowing it to happen.

30 Days of Gratitude: Private Agility Lessons (and the ability to pay for them)

Today's Facebook post was very simple:

I had my first agility lesson with Jacque in 2008. At that time I had three dogs, all in varying stages of agility. A month later, the oldest, Molly, would be dead from hemangiosarcoma. My next oldest dog, Josie the cockapoo, never really got the hang of agility, preferring to run around and greet people. She was a little high strung and I later learned her "zoomies" were a product of stress.

At the time of our first lesson, Casey Mae was two. We had been struggling and needed a new approach. Jacque gave us that in a gentle, non critical way that encouraged and inspired me. We got the one on one attention that I really needed. She also helped to boost my confidence, which culminated in most joyful moment when we earned our MACH (Master Agility Champion) title under Jacque.

When I started agility with Jet, Jacque was there right from the beginning. She gave us excellent foundation skills which have really paid off. She also observed his physical difficulties with jumping. She encouraged me to get him checked out, which resulted in us utilizing a chiropractor, which has helped him immensely. I have now stopped going to classes and rely exclusively on lessons with Jacque. Jet (as well as I) do not have the patience to sit in class and wait for our turn, only to have a couple of minutes of actual work. With Jacque, I can easily mark the improvements from session to session.

And just as significantly, Jacque has become a very good friend. There is not a session where we don't erupt into gales of laughter over one thing or another. And we now socialize outside of the agility ring and I have been able to enjoy a whole other side of her.

My dogs and I are indeed fortunate to have someone like Jacque in our lives.

30 Days of Gratitude: Classical Music

My first memory of classical music is one of me in tears. My mother came to me and asked what was wrong. I replied, “it’s so beautiful.”

I was six years old.

Playing on our record player at that time was “Sheep May Safely Graze,” composed by J.S.Bach, arranged and performed by E.Power Biggs. My brother and I called it the "spaghettiOs" record:

Throughout my childhood, I remember becoming familiar with numerous classical works. My brother and I would make up words to the German Bach Cantatas. We danced to Handel’s Water Music. Because my mother preferred the Baroque and earlier classics, we grew up with Vivaldi, Corelli, Mozart and Hayden, in addition to Bach and Handel. I can hear several of Brahms’ Intermezzi and immediately be transported back to my mom playing them on the piano. I can also hear Debussy’s Clair de Lune and see my dad “climpering” (his word) on that same piano. I hear Bach's Italian Concerto and recall my brilliant cousin playing it for us when we were all teenagers.

When I went away to college, my taste in classical music expanded. I can hear various pieces and easily associate them with specific periods of my life. For example, Rimsky-Korsakov’s Scheherazade and Orff’s Carmina Burana were two works I grew to love when I was in college. While attending law school, a good friend got me into Gershwin.

In my 30s, I expanded to Mahler, Sibelius and Grieg and other, more contemplative/impressionist composers. I discovered that in a life that was filled with increasing responsibilities, I had an outlet for rejuvenation.

To this day, classical music invigorates me as much as it soothes and comforts me. It responds to whatever mood I happen to be in at the time. And it will always keep me connected to all the chapters of my life.

30 Days of Gratitude: Sumac

With the changing of the seasons, there are a number of certainties. Cooling temperatures. Reduced daylight. Falling leaves. The wonderful scent of burning wood. Me, driving around urban and suburban areas having the following thought:

Whomever came up with the idea to plant sumac next to freeways was a genius.

30 Days of Gratitude

Urged by friend Jess to take part in this project, I'm all in! Since she, along with maybe 4-5 others, is the only one who actually knows about this blog, my primary vehicle for sharing my nuggets of gratitude will be Facebook. Since I fully expect for these to vary in their degree of interest and significance, I will put originals here, and the rest will be copied off my FB feed.

Like this one today:

After a week of gray rainy days, the joy of waking up to sunshine cannot be ignored!