This past year, I took a shooting lesson, using a 20 gauge semiautomatic Benelli shotgun. One of the things we talked about was my dominant eye and how, even though it is easier to shoot with one eye closed, the better practice is to keep both eyes open. I found that incredibly difficult and often reverted to shutting one eye.
If you’ve never done it, you should try it: hold your index finger out in front of you and look at it first with both eyes open. Then, look at it with your right eye closed. Finally, look at it with your left eye closed. It is remarkable how different the picture is, depending on which eye is closed.
So, it would seem, are the differing viewpoints on just about any issue that makes the headlines these days. In the past couple of weeks, I have stepped outside my comfort zone and had conversations with those of differing, even diametrically opposing viewpoints.
It has been exhausting.
The default reaction on my part is to dismiss these viewpoints as just wrong, as my viewpoint is always the correct one.
This reaction is not helpful in any way unless I decide to live by myself on an island with no internet.
Speaking of the internet, there is this really great article out there: “How to Listen When You Disagree.” During the past month, I set a goal to listen more than talk.
It was REALLY HARD.
But in the end, I think it helped me a lot. And I would like to think it helped those with whom I was having those challenging conversations.
One friend felt so comfortable with me (after we had successfully navigated a tricky discussion about racism) that he sent me a piece entitled “The Angry Man.”
I won’t repeat the entire essay, just the part that offended me the most:
The Angry Man is not, and never will be, a victim. Nobody like him drowned in Hurricane Katrina. He got his people together and got the hell out. Then, he went back in to rescue those who needed help or were too stupid to help themselves in the first place. He was selfless in this, just as often a civilian as a police officer, a National Guard soldier or a volunteer firefighter. Victimhood syndrome buzzwords; “disenfranchised,” “marginalized” and “voiceless” don’t resonate with The Angry Man. “Press ‘one’ for English” is a curse-word to him.
What struck me about the entire piece, was its complete and utter lack of empathy. There was, however, a lot written about pride and self-reliance. Here’s another quote:
He’s willing to give everybody a fair chance if they’re willing to work hard and play by the rules. He expects other people to do the same. Above all, he has integrity in everything he does.
There were other parts of the piece that I could actually agree with, but they were buried beneath gross generalizations and stereotypes.
As I struggled to comprehend the lens through which this piece was written, I was reminded of how fortunate I am to have lived a life that has allowed me to see things from so many different perspectives, sometimes those in direct contradiction to one another.
I grew up in a small town in a red colored county. As an 18 year old freshman in college, I voted for Ronald Reagan in my first presidential election.
In college, I formed strong friendships with people who were gay and I saw first-hand how they struggled with how far they wanted to be “out.” When I moved to Washington DC as a 20 year old junior, I got up close and personal through work and school with lots of people from different backgrounds and cultures.
I saw people living on grates.
I saw people suffering from mental illness.
I participated in a march for women's reproductive rights.
As a law student, I learned about the Constitution and how statutes are interpreted.
As a young Assistant County Attorney, I worked in our office’s Child Protection division, where I saw first-hand how children quickly became products of their environment. I also saw how drug addiction could destroy a person’s abilities to parent, but not a child’s attachment for that parent.
When I participated in an exchange program as a public defender, I won an acquittal for a person accused of sexually assaulting the 13 year old daughter of his (at the time) girlfriend. While I was a hero at the public defender’s office, my prosecutor colleagues could not imagine how I had been able to represent this person, much less argue vigorously on his behalf.
As my career progressed and I became a career prosecutor specializing in violent crimes, I worked closely with law enforcement and saw the dangers and abuse they suffered on a regular and relentless basis.
I worked closely with crime victims, some of whom, it could be argued, contributed to their victim status.
In prosecuting quite possibly the biggest media case ever in the Twin Cities, I experienced first-hand how the media determines what is important to a story.
As someone with a number of minority friends, I heard first-hand stories of blatant racial discrimination.
I also experienced first-hand the erosion of a meritocracy in certain job classes.
I have viewed these experiences through different lenses at different stages of my life. When I was younger, it was so much easier to pick a side. As I gained experiences that often would contradict each other, I began to struggle. I then realized that I needed to make more of an effort to try to understand them better, as opposed to reacting in a knee jerk fashion.
In the last month, I have put a great deal of time and effort into understanding different perspectives. I cannot claim a whole lot of success. The one consistent thread winding its way through this process is that the predominant lenses through which events are now being viewed are those of anger, fear and ignorance. The recent exposure of fake news sites, along with those burdened by significant bias, do not make it easy to find an appropriate lens through which to view the world. I have read more over the last month than I probably read in the last year.
We are all encouraged, if not demanded, to pick a side.
If you support Black Lives Matter, you hate cops.
If you support cops, you are racist.
If you support protesters, you are an anarchist.
If you do not support protesters, you are evil.
You either want to take everyone's guns away or you want to take up arms against those who would try to take your guns away.
And on it goes. Until in certain situations, the shooter opens both eyes and the target is in perfect focus. Or, put another way, differing points of view find common ground.
Like military veterans deploying to assist the DAPL protesters.
Like an evangelical Christian who also happens to be a Twin Cities Meteorologist pressing for continued discussion about climate change.
A big part of my current job assignment is to solve problems in group settings. Everyone brings a different perspective to the table and often times there is significant disagreement on the best course of action. Navigating (and often times facilitating) these discussions has proven to be invigorating, if not a bit taxing.
When I see convergences occur, they give me hope. That hope, in turn, supports my determination to view the world through only a very few specific lenses:
Curiosity, compassion and optimism.
With both eyes open.
