30 Days of Gratitude: Encouragement and Inspiration

As my 30 Days of Gratitude project comes to an end, I have to acknowledge the person who suggested I do it in the first place.

I met Jess in the summer of 2011 when CM and I were in an open level obedience class at Tails Up. She was in that class with Mac, her Flat Coated Retriever. I have liked FCRs for a long time. Many who know me well, know I am a “one dog one breed” person; meaning, I have a list of breeds I hope to have share my life, as long as I am capable of dog management.

I have to laugh when I think back to our first few conversations. Jess is reserved and I…..well, I am not. I am sure I just gushed over Mac. Mac is a beautiful and exuberant boy! I marveled at how enthusiastically he did the open exercises and how cheerfully he accepted correction, tail wagging the entire time. CM, on the other hand, as is true of many Tollers, was much more serious, even sullen at times. She challenged me, as a first time trainer in advanced obedience. But having Jess and Mac in class helped us get through the rough patches.

Jess and I got to know each other better over the fall. She sent me the link to her blog where I discovered what an absolutely brilliant writer she is. I recall being moved to tears by some of the raw emotion she wrote about when describing her response to the loss of her heart dog, Jay. We discovered that we share a love of nature and the outdoors. She impressed me with her photography as well as mixology skills. In November, she shared that Mac’s sister Bea had been bred and was due with a litter in January, 2012. She planned to take a puppy from that litter. I started thinking that maybe I was ready for my next puppy. Unfortunately, all the pups in that litter were spoken for, with a waiting list 3-4 deep. I then set about researching breeders and planning my next move.

In February, Jess went to see the litter to pick out her puppy. I so remember that weekend! Jess messaged me through Facebook and said “There is a really nice boy in this litter who should go to a show/performance home instead of the pet home he's slated for....Just throwing that out there. :)” I was shocked. Excited. Nervous. I wasn’t sure how that all would work. Jess convinced the breeder that I was the right match for this puppy. The first Saturday in March, I flew to Chicago to meet him. The rest is history.

Jess has been a wonderful support for me as I move through this journey as a novice owner of a FCR boy. Fortunately, my golden retriever Molly prepared me somewhat for the high energy that Jet has brought to our household, but Jess is always ready with answer to a specific FCR question. Jet absolutely adores her. We have field trained together and have been back in obedience class together with the brothers. I shared her grief in the passing of Bea last year and we have supported each other through other health issues with our dogs. Over the last couple years, Jess has evolved from just a dog friend. She is now one of the first people I contact when something significant….or amusing….is happening in my life. When she ran the marathon for the first time this year, I brought the dogs to cheer her on. I am so proud of her for accomplishing this formidable goal. She is the source of those most beautiful photographs of me and my pack that I will cherish forever.

I have written previously about people in my life who have influenced its trajectory and Jess is another one of those people. I marvel at the fact that I have such a strong connection with someone who is 13 years my junior. After all, our paths simply would not have crossed 20 years ago. But Jess has an old soul. Her writing reveals that. Last year, she encouraged me to take up writing again and helped me set up a blog. I had enjoyed writing as a school aged person, but, like playing the piano, it had been put on a shelf to make room for other things. Although I was a little intimidated to start, I have really enjoyed the process of putting my own thoughts together and the art of choosing the perfect word.

When Jess suggested I do the 30 Days of Gratitude project, she encouraged me to share it on Facebook. I must admit, it made me a little nervous to share some of my more personal feelings and ideas. But the experience has been wonderful. I realized, about halfway through the month, that many people have responded positively to my posts, for a wide variety of reasons. Writing is a powerful way of connecting with others.

Today I thank Jess for sharing her dogs, her writings, her humor, her cocktails, her photography skills and most importantly, her soul with me. I thank her for encouraging me to do this project and share it with you. I am a better person for having her in my life.

30 Days of Gratitude: Facebook

So…it is pretty clear that I have an active relationship with the Facebook! :)

I first joined FB six years ago. I was a relative latecomer to this particular social experience. I recall being so excited those first few months as I reconnected with people from all segments of my life. As a middle-ager, I had lots of prior life segments. One thing that has always been important to me is that my FB friend list closely mirrors my actual life social circle. Meaning, I have to have had some sort of relationship with you outside of FB in order for us to be FB friends. I have always been a bit amused at getting friend requests from people I may have encountered exactly one time. Or those that I may see fairly regularly but to whom I have never actually spoken. Or, there’s the time a fellow member of a Hosta FB group tried to friend me after I posted a picture of my hosta garden. Apparently a mutual admiration of hostas was enough in this person’s mind for us to be FB friends.

In an OCD moment, I printed out a list of my FB friends. I then subdivided them in a fancy pie chart….see if you can put yourself in the proper slice of Debbie Russell’s life. The numbers are only approximate: 12 family members, 19 friends from childhood through high school, 24 from college, 13 from law school, 73 from work (including friends I met through friends from work) and 6 that I only know through FB. The remaining slice? DOG FRIENDS!!! I suppose if I did not have to go to work, I could have continued to subdivide the dog slice into smaller slices of agility, flyball, obedience, field training, Toller and FCR. I have one very good friend who started out as a neighbor, but now can go in the dog slice. :) It sure is amazing to think that dog ownership can expand one’s social circle by so much.

What has been interesting to me is to see how people approach FB differently in terms of what they post. For many, it is an opportunity to promote political views. I try to tolerate most of those posts, but I have found that the “unfollow” button can be a useful ally when the entire content of a person’s posts are political memes. I am not a fan of divisive memes. I also employ the “hide post” button on occasion, like when someone posts the meme of our president photo shopped to look like a terrorist. For me, those buttons help ME to make MY feed about what I want to see. I can like you as a person, but just not like the things you post. On the other hand, I adore hilarious memes. Can’t get enough of them!

It also seems that people either respond to the Facebook with love or hate. A good friend quit FB earlier this year and has no intention of coming back. People reacted rather extremely to this, even going so far as to suggest she had become ill. That would be hilarious if it weren’t so stupid. In trying to figure out what went wrong for her, I think that perhaps her more relaxed approach to friend requests may have led to this feeling of suffocation.

I have tried to assess where I fit on the FB Spectrum. I know that I am careful with what I post. I have to be, considering my job. But I also have no desire to launch grenades. We have enough of that in the real world. I subscribe to pages that make me happy. I join groups where I think I might learn a thing or two. One friend told me straight out to my face that I posted SO MUCH. I responded by customizing my posts so he doesn’t have to see them. I admit I spend A LOT of time on FB. As far as I’m concerned, FB is perfect for the outgoing introvert.

I think the bottom line is that FB is what you make it. If it is a relentless cause of frustration, maybe you are better off giving it up. Another option is to modify your newsfeed so that it brings you cheer, not exasperation. Finally, if you look at your friend list, do you know everyone on it? Can you identify when, where and how each person came into your life? I can, and for that, I am grateful for FB. It allows me to maintain contact with people who may not be near to me geographically, but will always be near to my heart. :)

30 Days of Gratitude: Reconciliation

Thanksgiving Day, Brett Favre came back to Lambeau Field to have his number retired. When he was playing for the rival Vikings in 2009-2010, I absolutely despised him. What a difference five years made for me and countless other Packer fans. Our attitudes had changed and we welcomed him back with open arms. This past summer, he came to Green Bay and spoke in an honest and unscripted way that did so much to patch up the bad feelings that developed when he left the Packers and ended up playing for a division rival.

Reconciliation often is not easy. Depending on the circumstances, deep wounds can exist that are difficult to heal. And both parties need to be at the table in order for there to be success.

I don’t know if it was merely coincidence, but I experienced a couple of major reconciliations during my month of gratitude. They came about in totally different ways. Both individuals have been significant and dear parts of my life for a very long time. With one person, I had committed the transgression. As far as I can measure, it was a little over a year ago. In the interim, I had tried desperately to mend fences. What was most difficult for me is the fact that I crave clarity. As much as I kept pleading for that clarity, it didn’t come. But what finally happened was that I was able to sense a subtle thaw. Again, I don’t do very well with subtle. But because I have started to be more mindful of how I am contributing to any situation, I gave up my relentless efforts of trying to chip away at the block. Instead, I opened my heart to letting it all go and respecting the way that this reconciliation was going to materialize. And in this month of gratitude, the thaw became complete. Best of all, I no longer doubt its authenticity.

The second reconciliation was much clearer, but took a lot longer to achieve. Four years ago I abandoned one of the closest friendships I had at the time. I simply had enough. I felt betrayed and hurt and in response, I lashed out and cut this person out of my life. We continued to interact, as we shared a common activity, but it was all superficial. As much as I missed this person’s presence in my life, I felt no need to try to patch things up. And the less interaction we had, the easier it was for me to just forget about all the good times. Except there were those picture books commemorating fun times. And those times when I wanted to share something that I knew only this person would understand.

Last month we had a nice conversation and I felt my heart actually soften. And then, in my month of gratitude, I felt this strong push to extend an olive branch. In doing so, I acknowledged the part I played in the demise of the friendship. I acknowledged how much I had missed this person. And I acknowledged how important this person had been to me. It was an amazing moment in its pureness and honesty.

What I have learned about reconciliation, is that there is no correct way to go about it. But if it is from the heart, there is simply no way it can be anything but just right.

30 Days of Gratitude: Increased Flexibility

“Be willing to change because life won’t stay the same.” - Unknown

The day after Thanksgiving has always been a fun day for me. However, I have to preface that statement with a short back story. When my parents first moved up here almost 15 years ago, I was devastated. They left behind the most wonderful family home ever; deep in the woods with lots of space and charm. The joy of going home for the holidays was forever extinguished. But that first year they were here, we started a new tradition: shopping for my Christmas tree on the day after Thanksgiving. In those days, we went to the old Lyndale Garden Center. It was the Disney World for Christmas decorating. It was always quite a production to pick out the PERFECT tree. Then we would shove it in the trunk of their Buick Park Avenue and my dad and I would get it set up while my mom supervised.

A week before Thanksgiving 2004, my dad became very ill and spent a number of days in the hospital with what turned out to be a serious staph infection. When he was discharged the day before Thanksgiving, we struggled with what to do with our holiday. We decided to wait until Sunday to have our Thanksgiving dinner. On the day after Thanksgiving, I went over, traded my car for the Park Avenue and went to Lyndale Garden Center myself and got my tree. While I was able to set it up by myself, it was a sad time. That year became a catalyst of sorts for new traditions. It was either that year or the next that I bought an artificial, pre-lit tree at the end of the season. It was on sale. It was so much easier. It was also something I thought I could never do. But the time had come.

As the years have gone by, more holiday traditions have changed, primarily due to the advanced age of my parents. We have now divided up the hosting duties with me taking over Christmas Dinner. Since I do the cooking, I have decided that we will honor our British side and have a standing rib roast. The Russells love their prime rib and Yorkshire pudding! My mom still does the Christmas Eve buffet, but as of late, we are doing it after Christmas, when my brother and his girlfriend can join us. Since our celebrations have always leaned toward the secular, the actual date that we can all be together is what is most important to us.

My mother has struggled the most with letting go of the holiday traditions of the past. I also used to resist changing such cherished activities. But in the past year or two, I feel as though we have turned a corner and are now in a place where we can embrace the traditions we have. When we are able to be flexible, we release our grip on those from years gone by, and cherish them instead, as happy memories.

30 Days of Gratitude: Family

Doing a cut and paste today:

30 Days of Gratitude: Three Small Things

Today I am grateful for a window office, awesome colleagues and a short work week!

Small things...but maybe not...

30 Days of Gratitude: Magnesium

At the age of 50, I seem to be ticking along pretty well. A hip replacement two years ago has done wonders for my mobility. Where I once walked agility courses in severe pain, I can walk and run and bend and jump and do all the fun activities in which dog owners participate. I can also garden and do other house chores with minimal aches and pains afterwards.

This little supplement has really changed my life.

I have long suffered leg cramps. They have mostly attacked my calves, but in the recent years, I have also been ravaged by a cramping left vastus medialis.

What is maddening about this particular muscle is that its placement right at the knee makes it virtually impossible to stretch out. I have several very vivid memories of this tearing sensation right above my inner knee in the middle of the night. As I scream and hop out of bed, there seems to be no hope of relief. I hobble around in an attempt to relax the muscle. On one such occasion, my blood pressure dropped, I fell and hit my head, resulting in a concussion. Not good. I also recall a very dramatic episode at flyball practice when I was convinced my calf had ripped right up its length.

And then, someone suggested magnesium. I had always heard it was potassium that was supposed to help. Additionally, I had previously taken a supplement of calcium/magnesium, but this did not do a thing for the cramps. This past spring, my doctor told me to lay off the calcium; I didn’t need it. I then decided to check out this type of magnesium. I have not had a single cramp since. Now, there have been a couple instances where I can feel the cramp starting to flare up, and just as quickly, it subsides. Magnesium also exists in Epsom salts, so those soaks in the jetted tub have been made all the more therapeutic with the addition of a little Dr. Teal’s.

Since Jet is now pushing me to be an elite agility athlete, I couldn't have discovered this supplement at a better time. :) So long, crampy cramps!

30 Days of Gratitude: Friendships Part 2

Every once and a while, someone has come into my life and actually influenced its trajectory. This post is about my friend Lin.

I first met Lin in late 2006. My golden retriever Molly had just undergone surgery for a torn ACL and I was referred to the University of Minnesota Veterinary rehabilitation center. Lin was one of the rehab technicians who worked there at that time. My first meeting was with the other tech, Barb. After I described Molly and her fantastic flyball career, Barb felt I would be better served by Lin. But she did warn me: “she’s pretty direct.” I knew right then and there that Lin would be the right choice for us.

We got right to work: Lin gave me homework in the form of exercises to do with Molly at home. In addition, I showed up once a week for the underwater treadmill. While Molly was on the treadmill, we got to know each other. At that time, Casey Mae was around 8 months old. Lin invited me to the Minnesota Horse and Hunt Club for a European Driven Shoot. This is where shooters form a large circle and shoot at birds that are released from a station. Handlers bring their dogs to make the retrieves.

I will never forget my first time there. I wore my cute little light blue plaid jacket and inappropriate boots. Lin didn’t say much, but gave me an extra orange vest to wear. She then helped me get oriented and I threw dead pigeons for CM at the end. CM loved it. I got blood on my pretty plaid jacket, but I was hooked.

When Molly returned to agility in the spring of 2007, I sent Lin a picture to remember us by.

Molly and I came back for rehab for her second torn ACL. She had this surgery right before her 10th birthday. She returned to flyball late that following spring of 2008. I continued to see Lin at the shoots.

In late December of 2008, right after she earned her Flyball Grand Champion title, Molly developed some significant pressure behind one of her eyes. We finally ended up with an ophthalmologist who recommended surgery to remove the eye. The day of her surgery I received a call that they could not proceed because her vitals were so poor. The next day we were back at the U of M going through a battery of diagnostics with a chest x-ray revealing massive tumors. As I struggled to make sense of this, while discussing options for chemo with a very young student, Lin happened to walk by. I burst into tears upon seeing her. In her matter-of-fact way, she said, “I will go look at the x-ray and talk to (I forget the name)”, the Director of Internal Medicine, whom she knew personally. A short time later she came back and said, “she is full of cancer. You have a couple of weeks, max.”

As devastating as it was, to be able to hear the news in a direct way from a trusted friend, was the best I could ever hope for. And about three weeks later, Molly was gone. I had prepared myself as best I could and I will always be grateful that her suffering was minimal. She ate heartily right up until the night she passed.

Back to Lin…..I had been working hard trying to train CM for AKC hunt tests, but she had never been force fetched. In order to have a good delivery to hand, dogs need to be trained that they must hold the bird until you take it from them. CM would drop it at my feet. While that was good enough for HRC tests, the AKC requires a delivery to hand. So one evening, we headed over to Lin’s, where she showed me what I had to do to get CM to comply. It was really interesting for me to watch what was going on. I got a better understanding of CM’s personality by watching Lin work with her. I also learned that CM had significant powers of manipulation….something with which I am still coping to this day…. :)

Wonder of wonders, CM got her Junior Hunter title in the late summer of 2010. And I still saw Lin at the European Shoots. Jet came into my life in 2012 and I remember telling Lin that I wanted to go further with him. She had been going south to train for a couple of years in the early spring of 2013, she invited me to go along. Because of my schedule, I could not make that happen. However, we trained a bit together in the summer of 2013 and I ran Jet in a Junior Hunt test under her. At the end of that summer, she invited me to form a training group with the same professional trainer with whom Jet and I had been working. I was ecstatic.

In March of 2014, the first Fun Field Training Trip was launched. And on that trip, I think she would agree, we evolved from friends, to really good friends. I will confess: the last time I traveled with someone, it had turned out badly and I was beginning to doubt my abilities as a decent traveling companion. Lin assured me that she, on the other hand, was a great traveling companion. Turns out, she was right! We had so much to talk about while traveling from MN to GA. Of course we conversed about field training, but also religion (or lack thereof), politics, family, careers, dogs, gardening, clean eating, and more. There was never a dull moment. It ranks as one of the best vacations I have ever had. When we came back, we trained together Monday nights. It was a great summer. I learned so much and had so much fun.

This past spring, we did the sequel FFTT and went even farther south. Lin introduced me to more trainers and influential people in the field training world. I got to run Jet on some amazing training grounds. Over the last couple of years, I have gotten to know Lin’s partner Cynthia. She has also become a good friend and “Monarch Mentor.” Cynthia was the inspiration my monarch project this past summer and has helped me with gardening questions as well. When I struggled with Jet this past summer, Lin has been there with a beer and a helpful ear to steer me in the right direction. She is one of my go-to people when any physical issues with my dogs arise. We are right now in the preliminary stages of planning for FFTT 2016 and I couldn’t be more excited and optimistic.

It's hard to imagine what my life would be like if Lin had not come into it, but I dare say it wouldn't be nearly as interesting!

30 Days of Gratitude: My Green Bay Packers

Today I am grateful for Mason Crosby, Eddie Lacy, the Packers' defense and a little breathing room in the NFC North.

30 Days of Gratitude: Senior LinkAge Line

Today I am grateful for the Minnesota Senior LinkAge Line, or the "Senior Link Line" (as my mom calls it).

When UCare raised their premiums, my mom took on the daunting task of trying to find a new insurance company. I spent an afternoon with her, along with her pink highlighter, going through what seemed like endless options. I swear, health insurance is designed to trick us somehow! But I digress. After an hour or so, I spotted the number for the Senior LinkAge Line and encouraged my mom to call them for more assistance.

My mom now has a new best friend named Steve, who helped her through this maze of information, even so much as putting a call through for her when there was no answer. The people who staff this line exhibit extraordinary patience, as they help our seniors navigate all the possibilities for services. We are lucky to have them.

30 Days of Gratitude: Hope

We now take a break from our regularly scheduled programming for this Public Service Announcement:

Wednesday, as I was posting about my gratitude for a long-lived water heater, it occurred to me that all this gratitude might seem inappropriate, given the current string of tragic events that has befallen my city, country and planet. After all, for 19 days, I have been expressing gratitude for a lot of mundane and simple things when it could be argued that the world is going to hell in a hand basket. This has been a particularly tough week. Paris was attacked. Jamar Clark was killed during an altercation with police. MPD 4th Precinct, along with law enforcement across the country, is under siege. It was confirmed that terrorists brought down the Russian flight in Egypt. Our country’s leaders vehemently disagree on how to move this nation forward in response to these relentless terrorist acts and the ensuing refugee crisis. The rhetoric is ugly. The fear is palpable.

I began to wonder if all this gratitude was only serving to deny the reality of the chaos around us. A friend has likened my posts to Jimmy Fallon’s weekly “thank you notes” sessions. A very timely comment, given how I was feeling about it all. Yesterday I actually felt quite trite when I posted about my gratitude for my dogs. I then considered discontinuing these posts. I rationalized it as a way of demonstrating appropriate deference to things we can all agree are more important than donuts, sumac and water heaters.

But what I have learned about expressing gratitude is that it creates hope. And hope has always been something that keeps me moving forward, even when things seem to be quite dismal. I found this quote from Robert Emmons, author of Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity (2013), which provided me the clarity I had been seeking:

In the midst of the economic maelstrom that has gripped our country, I have often been asked if people can - or even should - feel grateful under such dire circumstances. My response is that not only will a grateful attitude help—it is essential. In fact, it is precisely under crisis conditions when we have the most to gain by a grateful perspective on life. In the face of demoralization, gratitude has the power to energize. In the face of brokenness, gratitude has the power to heal. In the face of despair, gratitude has the power to bring hope. In other words, gratitude can help us cope with hard times.

In a quaint gift shop in Athens, GA, I discovered a little book titled “Mr. Rabbit’s Symphony of Nature." It is a beautiful story of animals with different talents coming together to perform music. Its message of hope resonated with me. With the changing of the seasons, we always hope for new life in the springtime.

So with 10 days left on this project, I will continue to find things for which to be grateful. Maybe it’s naïve. Maybe it is trite. But for now, it is my coping mechanism. And as the days continue to grow shorter and colder, I will remain steadfast in my hope for better times ahead.

30 Days of Gratitude: The Love of Dogs

You didn't think I'd go 30 days of gratitude without expressing thanks for these treasures?

As well as those who have gone before:

And the very first one:

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

30 Days of Gratitude: Old Faithful

Apparently water heaters only last 10-15 years.

This one came with the house when I bought it in 1996. Monday night, I noticed a small amount of water on the floor in the basement and found a leak from the pipes on the top.

Today, as the plumber installs its replacement, I am grateful to this old thing for not dying in a more dramatic fashion (i.e. exploding and flooding the basement). Instead, it gave me a gentle prod to take care of something I have neglected for quite some time.

30 Days of Gratitude: Independence

I remember playing piano for a friend/colleague’s wedding back in 1994 or 1995. As the ceremony began, the officiant (I do not recall the denomination) stated that “it is God’s plan that we do not go through life alone.” I remember being struck by that. It felt so….inaccurate. I struggled to make sense of it, given that back then, as I approached the ripe old age of 30, I felt happy as a clam being single.

That was 20 years ago. Since then, I have observed married people and other single people and I have become firmly convinced that not all of us are wired to be paired off. I think one of the biggest factors that drives people to pair off, along with societal pressure, is loneliness. I am never lonely. Recently I decided that I am actually an outgoing introvert. Google it, it’s quite fascinating. Despite my gregarious nature, I most love being at home with my dogs and my music. I make myself good meals – not out of a box. I garden. I write. I aspire to get back at the piano.

There is truly no time that I look around my small house and wish someone else was there. I love the quiet, even though I am actually a loud person! I have to confess: on more than one occasion while home alone, I have burst into loud singing, or even dancing! With a few exceptions, I travel alone. I rejoiced when I first could afford my own hotel room when traveling with others.

I do think the main reason I am not lonely is that I have wonderful friendships with other humans and strong bonds with my dogs. I have my go-to people for advice and counseling. I also do stuff. Lots of stuff. With other people. For me that is enough. I like to think that many would consider me a good friend. However, I’m not sure I would have the capacity to give much more to the same person day in and day out. And I clearly have no extra closet space.

For me, independence means I get to do exactly what I want every minute of every day...except when I’m at work. Oh, and there is that whole going to work thing... But speaking of work, I am fortunate to earn a salary that allows me to afford a very full and active lifestyle. The longer I live this way, the less I am able to imagine what it would be like to be paired up with someone. And I’m grateful that I don’t have to even consider it.

30 Days of Gratitude: Honest Auto Mechanics

Today I dropped my car off at my neighborhood mechanic, Hawkins Automotive. Big deal? Well, for the last 15 years, I have taken my cars to their respective dealerships for routine maintenance and repairs. I wish I could say I had a really good reason for it, but truthfully, I placed more trust in a dealer mechanic, even if it meant I needed to spend a little extra money.

That said, I have taken both my cars in to Hawkins a handful of times over these last 15 years. They were always courteous, affordable, and did good work. I do not know why I didn’t just bring my cars to them on a regular basis.

My current car just crossed the 100K mile mark. It is in reasonably good shape. The battery died during a field training session in late August. When we attempted to charge it up, we blew the power steering fuse (apparently a common occurrence when you don’t know what you’re doing). Because I didn’t want to drive it all the way to the dealer, I brought it in to Hawkins and they replaced the battery and the fuse promptly. The cost appeared to be comparable to prices I had paid in the past at the dealer.

I then read a Car Talk article about things to check when your car has hit 100K miles. They also referenced their website where one can find local mechanics that have passed the Car Talk scrutiny for reliability, affordability, etc. Guess who made the list?

So Hawkins Automotive is my new mechanic for as long as my cars need repairs and I live in the neighborhood. It feels good to support a local business who already has a great reputation.

30 Days of Gratitude: Laughter

Today I am grateful for laughter. The kind that makes your stomach hurt. The kind that makes you cry. Turns out, laughter is good for your health!

http://life.gaiam.com/article/7-benefits-laughter

30 Days of Gratitude: Beating Cancer

On this flyball weekend, I celebrate CM's remarkable recovery from a lung lobectomy and chemotherapy treatment for histiocytic sarcoma. She remains cancer free pending our next check up in December.

And I am mindful that many animals as well as humans do not win this battle.

30 Days of Gratitude: Home

There’s a saying “home is where the heart is.”

This sweet little bungalow has sheltered my heart….and my soul, for 19 years.

30 Days of Gratitude: Spontaneity

So....I had a different post planned for today.

And then this happened:

Sometimes it's good to just go with the flow.... :)

30 Days of Gratitude: Military Service

Today I am grateful for having had the opportunity to serve my country.

I need to be clear, however, during the six years I was a member of the Army Reserves JAG Corps, I served on weekends and a couple weeks out of the year. I had comfortable assignments. The hardest challenge I ever faced was going through the gas chamber during my Officer Basic Course. And maybe those terrible sit-ups.

My service involved counseling and representing our soldiers in civil and criminal matters.

On this day, I am most grateful to those soldiers and all the others who have served, especially those on the front lines and those who have sacrificed their lives for the freedoms we enjoy as citizens of the United States.

30 Days of Gratitude: Excellent Veterinary Care (and the ability to pay for it)

All of my dogs have led active, eventful lives, resulting in the need for specialized, skilled veterinary care. My first dog Molly, a spirited golden retriever, developed a mast cell tumor at the age of 6, tore both ACLs at the ages of 8 and 9 respectively and finished out her life with the unfortunate diagnosis of hemangiosarcoma. Through it all, I was fortunate to have compassionate, skilled care from our clinic, Lyndale Animal Hospital and the University of Minnesota Veterinary Hospital orthopedic surgeons and rehab department.

Josie, my cockapoo, fell victim to a very mysterious gastrointestinal condition at the age of 10. As she steadily deteriorated over the course of a summer, Dr. Marie Koppy of Lyndale Animal Hospital did everything she possibly could to figure out what was happening. One morning in late August, I showed up unannounced at the clinic, sobbing uncontrollably and clutching this helpless little being that was wasting away. She weighed 12 pounds, down from a healthy weight of 19. Dr. Koppy gently gave me permission to let her go. “If she were my dog, I would do this.” She asked for my permission to order a necropsy and the results were sadly reassuring. Josie had a tiny perforation of unknown origin in one of her intestine. There was absolutely nothing we could have done to save her. This discovery helped ease the burden of guilt I had built up over the decision to let her go.

I credit the excellent staff at the U of M ICU with saving Casey Mae’s life in June of 2010. I will never forget coming home on a Friday and she did not greet me with her usual spunk. Instead, after going outside, she remained out in the yard, laying in the grass. I went out and discovered her poop was completely black. I called the U of M emergency line and they suggested I bring her in. Bloodwork revealed severe anemia. I absolutely believe that for the next 5 nights and 4 days they prevented her from dying. She went through a battery of tests and two blood transfusions as well as other treatments before she started to turn the corner. This is another situation where we never got any definitive answers, except for a weak positive on a tick-borne disease panel.

I also appreciate the professionals who have worked with me throughout Casey Mae’s cancer diagnosis and treatment, starting again with Dr. Koppy, who encouraged me to do x-rays in addition to blood work in her first senior dog exam. The x-ray revealed the small lump that later grew aggressively throughout the next six months. Dr. Nate Rose of the Oakdale Clinic performed the lung lobectomy and did a fantastic job. CM was back to running flyball in about six weeks. I also am so fortunate to have had access to the oncology specialists at Blue Pearl Referral Clinics for getting CM and I through chemo. She has made a remarkable recovery.

Finally, I am so happy to have the chiropractors at Chiropractic for Everybody looking out for Jet. We primarily see Dr. Stacie, but Jet has now seen all three of the capable practitioners and they have worked wonders for him. He is a difficult client for sure, because he is so wiggly, but all of them know how to best work with him to get the adjustments they need. Just this past weekend, after taking a dramatic dive off the A Frame at an agility trial, Jet got to see Dr. Kerri, who did some adjustments, but more importantly, gave us the okay to compete the next day. My peace of mind was well taken care of that evening.

When I was in high school, I wanted to be a veterinarian. I even started down that path in college, but had to abandon it after first semester when it was clear I would not have the grades in math and science to get into veterinary school. As I reflect now on my limitations, I am glad I did not try any harder, as I believe I would have been quite ill-suited for the work. It takes a very special personality to be able to do the often difficult and heart wrenching work with the dear souls from the animal kingdom. I am so fortunate to have been able to rely on such wonderful individuals for the care of my most precious friends.

30 Days of Gratitude: Mass Transit

Monthly parking rate for ramp next to my building = $160.00

Monthly bus pass subsidized through my employer = $46.00

Bus stop ½ block from my house.

This is a no brainer.

30 Days of Gratitude: Progress

At this weekend's agility trial, Jet, my exuberant Flat Coated Retriever, earned twice the Qs he has earned in the past year+ we have been competing in agility. It has been a long journey so far, which was interrupted last winter when he fell off the dog walk. Jacque, my trainer (and subject of a previous gratitude post) and I worked over the course of almost 7 months to help him regain the confidence to do this challenging obstacle. We came so very close in our last competition, but, after watching video, I realized I really needed to focus on every obstacle and he needed lots and lots and LOTS of practice. That last trial was 3 months ago.

The extra training time paid off in full this weekend. I have renewed confidence, and I can clearly see that we are looking more and more like the awesome team I aspire for us to be.

It is a happy place to be. :)

30 Days of Gratitude: Friendships Part 1

Last night I had dinner at the home of two friends I have known for half my life.

Dan was my first friend in law school. We both grew up in Wisconsin and had spent the last few years in the DC area before relocating to Minnesota to attend the U of M. However, I had left behind a boyfriend of four years and he had recently married. I soon met his wife Natasha and they became a part of the group of friends to whom I would be closest during my law school stint.

I do not have fond memories of law school. Early on, I was intimidated by the entire experience. I felt inferior to most of my fellow students. When I got solid Cs on all my first semester exams, I truly felt like I did not know how I was supposed to think. I drank too much. I got myself into some situations where I was not proud of my behavior. One involved an interaction with a police officer where, to this day, I cannot believe I was not arrested.

But I digress….throughout law school, Dan and Natasha remained dependable friends….until that time second year when Dan and I made the unfortunate decision to be partners in a moot court project. I think we would agree that there could not possibly be two people more ill-suited for this particular project than the two of us. Without going into details, the horrible culmination (eruption? collapse? meltdown? apocalypse?) occurred when I walked out of their house during the NBA All Star game (which he was watching, much to my extreme irritation) and left him to finish it by himself. My decision to leave startled me and left me feeling quite uncomfortable because by leaving, I was relinquishing control.

Dan finished the project by pulling an all-nighter (something I NEVER did in all my years of education) and I don’t even remember the grade we got. Our fight was the talk of the school.

And then there was reconciliation.

And a year later, there was graduation from law school!

That was 22 years ago. We all remained in Minneapolis after law school. What I cherish about this friendship, is that we have been getting together for dinner (mostly at their house) several times a year for the last 22 years. I can recall the first meal they hosted when we were still in law school. I brought cannoli that were way too sweet. Since then, I have had a front row seat to their three children growing up. I also got to see, first hand, major home remodeling projects. They have always had an assortment of animals, some of whom I have looked in on once and again. I have so enjoyed hearing about Natasha's adventures. The dinner discussions have always been lively and I have gone home feeling loved in that familial way. Their combined powers of persuasion convinced me to join Facebook.

Of all my friendships, this is one of those that means the most to me.

30 Days of Gratitude: Donuts

So I did not realize that yesterday was National Donut Day #2 until I was riding the bus home. I already had donuts on my gratitude list, so today is as good a day as any to honor them. I am also grateful for the following:

1) Internet research that led me to discover that Glam Doll Donuts is designated the best place for donuts in MN;

2) Glam Doll Donuts is on my way to work (if I actually drive my car) and;

3) By designating today as my personal donut gratitude day, I didn't have to fight crowds and could bring a nice selection for my co-workers.

30 Days of Gratitude: Perspective

I have to confess: when I decided to take on this project, I had some doubts about my abilities to come up with 30 different things to be grateful for. So I signed up for a subscription to an email newsletter that would send me a gratitude topic every day. I figured I could benefit from ideas that I had not come up with myself.

This week, I received one that seemed very appropriate: “Struggle.”

Without struggle growth is impossible. The struggles that we face represent a map of how we have persevered and overcome in the face of adversity. Our struggles have propelled us to push harder and find our inner strengths even in our hardest times.

As it turns out, I had already started a post about perspective and I feel like it goes hand in hand with struggles.

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I will be the first to admit that I don’t always have the proper perspective. And several struggles over the past year have challenged me far more than I feel I have ever been challenged in the past.

Often, it is so much easier to be angry. To be sad. To give up and slink home and plop down in front of the TV. To ignore the dogs. To pout. To stomp around. To complain loudly. To eat and drink….maybe too much.

I regret to say, there are times this feels like the only way I know how to respond when things don’t go my way.

But there is such a bigger picture. So many people live with struggles far beyond anything I can even imagine. People living in poverty. People with addictions. People with mental illnesses. People who, from the time they are born, appear not to have even the slightest chance of succeeding. People fleeing their native lands, due to terrorism. People being executed for religious beliefs.

At the end of the day, there are countless people who are faced with having to overcome much more significant struggles than I will ever experience in my lifetime.

Today I am grateful for the perspective that my struggles can bring to me, if I am open to allowing it to happen.

30 Days of Gratitude: Private Agility Lessons (and the ability to pay for them)

Today's Facebook post was very simple:

I had my first agility lesson with Jacque in 2008. At that time I had three dogs, all in varying stages of agility. A month later, the oldest, Molly, would be dead from hemangiosarcoma. My next oldest dog, Josie the cockapoo, never really got the hang of agility, preferring to run around and greet people. She was a little high strung and I later learned her "zoomies" were a product of stress.

At the time of our first lesson, Casey Mae was two. We had been struggling and needed a new approach. Jacque gave us that in a gentle, non critical way that encouraged and inspired me. We got the one on one attention that I really needed. She also helped to boost my confidence, which culminated in most joyful moment when we earned our MACH (Master Agility Champion) title under Jacque.

When I started agility with Jet, Jacque was there right from the beginning. She gave us excellent foundation skills which have really paid off. She also observed his physical difficulties with jumping. She encouraged me to get him checked out, which resulted in us utilizing a chiropractor, which has helped him immensely. I have now stopped going to classes and rely exclusively on lessons with Jacque. Jet (as well as I) do not have the patience to sit in class and wait for our turn, only to have a couple of minutes of actual work. With Jacque, I can easily mark the improvements from session to session.

And just as significantly, Jacque has become a very good friend. There is not a session where we don't erupt into gales of laughter over one thing or another. And we now socialize outside of the agility ring and I have been able to enjoy a whole other side of her.

My dogs and I are indeed fortunate to have someone like Jacque in our lives.

30 Days of Gratitude: Classical Music

My first memory of classical music is one of me in tears. My mother came to me and asked what was wrong. I replied, “it’s so beautiful.”

I was six years old.

Playing on our record player at that time was “Sheep May Safely Graze,” composed by J.S.Bach, arranged and performed by E.Power Biggs. My brother and I called it the "spaghettiOs" record:

Throughout my childhood, I remember becoming familiar with numerous classical works. My brother and I would make up words to the German Bach Cantatas. We danced to Handel’s Water Music. Because my mother preferred the Baroque and earlier classics, we grew up with Vivaldi, Corelli, Mozart and Hayden, in addition to Bach and Handel. I can hear several of Brahms’ Intermezzi and immediately be transported back to my mom playing them on the piano. I can also hear Debussy’s Clair de Lune and see my dad “climpering” (his word) on that same piano. I hear Bach's Italian Concerto and recall my brilliant cousin playing it for us when we were all teenagers.

When I went away to college, my taste in classical music expanded. I can hear various pieces and easily associate them with specific periods of my life. For example, Rimsky-Korsakov’s Scheherazade and Orff’s Carmina Burana were two works I grew to love when I was in college. While attending law school, a good friend got me into Gershwin.

In my 30s, I expanded to Mahler, Sibelius and Grieg and other, more contemplative/impressionist composers. I discovered that in a life that was filled with increasing responsibilities, I had an outlet for rejuvenation.

To this day, classical music invigorates me as much as it soothes and comforts me. It responds to whatever mood I happen to be in at the time. And it will always keep me connected to all the chapters of my life.

30 Days of Gratitude: Sumac

With the changing of the seasons, there are a number of certainties. Cooling temperatures. Reduced daylight. Falling leaves. The wonderful scent of burning wood. Me, driving around urban and suburban areas having the following thought:

Whomever came up with the idea to plant sumac next to freeways was a genius.

30 Days of Gratitude

Urged by friend Jess to take part in this project, I'm all in! Since she, along with maybe 4-5 others, is the only one who actually knows about this blog, my primary vehicle for sharing my nuggets of gratitude will be Facebook. Since I fully expect for these to vary in their degree of interest and significance, I will put originals here, and the rest will be copied off my FB feed.

Like this one today:

After a week of gray rainy days, the joy of waking up to sunshine cannot be ignored!