On Enduring Friendships

Thirty years ago, in the fall of 1984, I started college at the University of Wisconsin Platteville. I chose that school primarily because it had a good pre-veterinarian program and I didn’t want to go where everybody else from my high school was going. I only attended UWP for two years, before I decided I needed to be a diplomat and the best way to do that was to graduate from a school in Washington DC (more on that in another post).

While attending UWP, I had many adventures. I worked as a DJ at the campus radio station and at a local bar. I joined a sorority. I threw myself into all the fun and excitement that dorm life offered. And I made some friends along the way. Several of those friends have remained near and dear to me throughout the ensuing 30 years. One couple, who married right out of college, recently celebrated their 27th wedding anniversary. We live about 4 ½ hours apart, but have managed to see each other at least several times a year. We have celebrated the purchases of houses, the obtaining of jobs and we have supported each other through the challenges of health and unemployment issues.

Another friend eventually ended up in L.A. While I haven’t been able to see him as often, every time we get together, it is as though we only just saw each other last weekend. This friend was honored this year by UWP with a distinguished alumni award for his work on the Oscar winning movie “Frozen.” He is a media engineer at Disney and I have been lucky enough to visit him at his job. Due to another commitment which I will discuss in the next paragraph, I was only able to go down for the award presentation and a forum that preceded it. I felt like a proud parent when watching my friend participate in this forum, and part of me marveled that this was the same person as that quiet, gangly guy with whom I’d go out drinking at UWP. After the official business concluded, we went out for dinner and drinks with half of the aforementioned couple and another friend who had also been in their wedding. We all had a wonderful night, even staying out past midnight…just like the good old days!

The next morning I drove the five hours back home so I could attend the wedding of another dear friend of mine. This friendship has lasted almost 20 years. When I first met him, he was in a relationship with someone else. They had a cute house, which was the inspiration for the purchase of my house. They moved several times, adopted two children and ultimately broke up. I lost track of them briefly, but one Friday evening a few years ago, this friend showed up at my house. I made him a cocktail and we got caught up. Later that December, he brought his new boyfriend to my annual holiday open house. We renewed our efforts to get together, notwithstanding mutually busy schedules. I was delighted to be invited to his wedding and marveled that evening at the enduring nature of this particular friendship and how lucky I am to have him and other longstanding friends in my life.

Middle age gives me pause when I start reflecting on the decades through which I have marched/stumbled/flown. To go into…and through…middle age with people I have known since my 20s is a marvelous thing. We have each other to share the triumphs as well as the defeats. And we will carry on!

On Making the Right Decision

Now that the days have shortened I am having great difficulty getting out of bed in the morning. It doesn’t help that it is immensely cozy with my two snuggly dogs. But along with the shorter days has come a decrease in physical activity, which has become painfully obvious, both in how I look and how I feel.

I spent last weekend in a hotel where the wall to wall mirror reflected my naked body right as I got out of the shower. There was no way to avert my eyes, much as I tried to avoid what I declared a most unseemly sight. Lots of flab and no visible muscle tone. Now I am not obese, but I am solidly in the “overweight” category on the BMI and probably closer to “obese” than “normal.”

I also have lots of aches and pains from muscles that are underused. Add low energy and tight fitting clothes, and you have the perfect recipe for wintertime hibernation in clothes with elastic waistbands.

So upon my return home (where, thank goodness there are no mirrors to catch me naked unless I make a conscious choice to stand behind a door), I knew that the magnetic force field of my comfortable bed was going to have to give way to self-improvement. When I worked with a trainer, we always started off with “how much do you think you can do?” That way, I would not be able to use the excuse that I didn’t have time, or it was too much.

So the first day I rode my exercise bike for 10 minutes and did some yoga stretches. The next day I did 20 minutes of a strength training routine with the lightest weights. And just in those two days I noticed an improvement in how I felt. Most importantly I felt motivated. Even though it is about to be dark when I get up and when I get home from work, I feel ready to get through the winter by taking better care of myself. The body has an amazing ability to bounce back from periods of neglect. I am almost back to the full routine I abandoned last spring and feel great.

Most importantly, I have eliminated that pesky force field around my bed at 5:30 in the morning!